If you grew up hearing constant criticism or being told you were “useless,” “bad,” “selfish,” “lazy,” or that you would “never amount to anything,” please know that these were lies designed to control you, not truth about who you are.
Many of us have deep-rooted feelings of unworthiness based on these cruel deceptions. If you were emotionally abused, you heard these lies repeated again and again. You may have been subject to constant criticism, had your achievements ignored, and normal minor faults blown completely out of proportion.
Global descriptions were used against you – sweeping statements about your entire character based on normal childhood behavior. You weren’t actually “useless” or “bad” or “selfish.” You were a child displaying normal child behaviors, but those behaviors were weaponized against you to destroy your self-worth.
You were told these things because they made it easier to manipulate and control you. When children believe they are fundamentally flawed, they become more compliant, more desperate for approval, and less likely to question their treatment or seek help.
The truth is that you were never any of those things. You were a child who deserved encouragement, support, and recognition of your inherent worth. Your achievements should have been celebrated, your mistakes should have been met with understanding and guidance, and your normal childhood needs should have been respected.
Those cruel words were never accurate reflections of your character or value. They were tools of control used by people who couldn’t parent with love and respect. The fact that you internalized these messages doesn’t make them true – it makes you human. Children naturally believe what adults tell them about themselves.
If these labels still feel true about you today, that’s completely understandable. When we hear something repeatedly during our formative years, it becomes part of how we see ourselves. But you can begin to question these old messages and recognize them for what they were – lies told to maintain control over you.
You are worthy of love, respect, and kindness simply because you exist. Those cruel labels were never about you. They were about their need to control you.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
