One of the most persistent myths about healing from childhood trauma is that forgiveness is essential for moving forward. This belief can actually be harmful to survivors.
If you’ve felt pressure to forgive parents who hurt you, or been told that holding onto anger makes you “bitter” or “stuck,” know that this pressure is misguided. Your healing doesn’t depend on forgiveness.
The truth is that pushing yourself to forgive before you’re ready, or when it doesn’t feel right for you, can actually interfere with healing.
You need time to acknowledge what happened, to feel anger and process grief, and to understand its impact.
Sometimes what appears to be forgiveness is actually denial, a way of avoiding the painful reality that those who should have protected you were the ones who caused harm.
If you rush to forgive, you might miss important steps in your healing journey.
Your anger is valid and healthy. It can help you recognize that what happened was wrong and that you deserved better. Anger does not make you bitter; it makes you human.
You do not owe forgiveness to anyone; not for their comfort, not for family peace, and not even for your own healing.
You can build a meaningful, peaceful life without forgiving those who hurt you. Trust yourself to know what you need, and don’t let anyone else’s expectations dictate your path forward.
Whether you eventually choose forgiveness or not is up to you alone.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
