If you blamed yourself as a child for the abuse you experienced, please know that this was your mind’s way of trying to cope with an impossible situation.
When children face trauma, their developing brains do whatever they can to make sense of chaos. Blaming yourself actually served a psychological purpose: it gave you the illusion that you had some control over what was happening to you.
Your mind created the false belief that you could change the situation by behaving better, being quieter, being more perfect, or somehow earning the love and protection you deserved. This felt safer than accepting the terrifying reality that you were completely powerless.
This self-blame wasn’t weakness or naivety, it was your mind’s attempt to protect you from the overwhelming truth that the people who should have been keeping you safe were the ones causing you harm.
The reality is that there was nothing you could have done to save yourself. No amount of good behavior, compliance, or trying to be perfect could have prevented what happened. You were a child facing adult problems that were never yours to solve.
You deserved love, protection, and safety, not the burden of feeling responsible for adult behavior. That guilt and shame you’ve carried belongs to those who hurt you, not to you.
If you’re struggling to accept this truth, that’s completely understandable. Many of us have spent years believing we were somehow responsible. But recognizing that this self-blame was a survival mechanism, not truth, can be the beginning of freeing yourself from guilt that was never yours to carry.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
