If you’re struggling with change right now and everything feels more difficult rather than easier, this message is for you.
One of the most misunderstood aspects of personal growth is that initially, everything feels wrong. When we start doing things differently – setting boundaries, speaking up for ourselves, changing old patterns – we often feel less confident rather than more confident.
This happens because change involves learning new skills, and learning anything new involves a period of awkwardness and discomfort. Think about when you started driving, learned a new language, or began any new hobby. There was always an initial stage where you felt clumsy and uncertain.
The same is true for emotional and psychological changes. When you start therapy, practice self-compassion, or set healthy boundaries, your brain is essentially learning new patterns. The old ways felt “normal” even if they were harmful, simply because they were familiar.
This temporary discomfort is why many people avoid change or give up in the early stages. They interpret feeling worse as evidence they’re doing something wrong, when actually they’re experiencing the normal first phase of doing something right.
If you’re in this stage right now, please know that your discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re brave enough to do the difficult work of growth. This phase is temporary, but the strength you’re building by pushing through it will serve you for life.
Be patient with yourself. Every person who has ever grown has walked through this same uncomfortable territory first.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
