If someone has ever told you that you “imagined” what happened to you, or if your memories have been questioned and dismissed, this message is for you.
One of the most harmful tactics used against trauma survivors is to claim that imperfect memories somehow prove that abuse never occurred. This is not only wrong, it’s deeply damaging to people who are already struggling to trust their own experiences.
Memory doesn’t work like a video. It cannot be played again and again as a completely accurate record of what took place. When something traumatic happens, we remember some details better than others. There will always be some inaccuracies, and this is completely normal.
Think about it this way: after a car accident, different witnesses will remember details that don’t always match perfectly. One person might remember the car being blue, another might say it was green. Someone might recall it happening at 3 PM, another at 3:15 PM. But this doesn’t mean the accident never happened – it means human memory is naturally imperfect.
The same is true for traumatic experiences. You may make mistakes about specific facts, dates, times, or places. Some details might become confused over time. This is normal and expected, especially when trauma occurred during childhood when your brain was still developing.
Inaccuracies in your memories are evidence that you are a fallible human being, not evidence that you imagined your trauma. What happened still happened. The core truth of your experience – that you were hurt, that you deserved better, that it wasn’t your fault – remains valid regardless of whether you remember every detail perfectly.
It is right that you stick by your truth and don’t doubt yourself. People who want to discredit survivors often focus on minor inconsistencies while ignoring the overwhelming evidence and the lasting impact of the trauma. Don’t let them make you question experiences that you know in your heart were real.
Your memories deserve respect and validation, imperfections and all. You deserve to be believed and supported in your healing journey.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
