One of the most challenging aspects of healing from childhood trauma is coming to terms with a painful reality: our parents are unlikely to change and become the loving, supportive people we need them to be.
You may find yourself trying to repair the relationship, hoping that this time will be different or believing you can help them see the impact of their behavior.
This hope is powerful and completely understandable. We keep trying because we want to believe in their capacity to change. We feel a strong sense of obligation to maintain the relationship, regardless of how toxic it is. We may fear abandonment or rejection, having been conditioned to believe our worth is tied to their approval.
Yet holding on to this hope can keep you stuck in cycles of disappointment. You continue to invest energy in relationships that drain rather than nourish.
Accepting that your parents will not change can feel devastating. It is a form of grief, mourning the relationship you hoped for.
But this acceptance is also liberating. When you stop pouring energy into what cannot be fixed, you free yourself to focus on what you can control: your healing, your boundaries, and your well-being.
Letting go of hope does not mean giving up on yourself. It means redirecting hope toward what can truly change: your relationship with yourself and with people who can offer real care and respect.
Be patient with yourself as you process this reality. The freedom that follows is worth the time it takes.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
