If you’ve been told that trauma “made you stronger” or that you should somehow be grateful for what you endured, please know that this is a harmful myth that needs to be challenged. The idea that “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is often promoted in books about trauma and resilience, but it’s not…
Forgiveness is often presented as the ultimate goal of healing, yet there are risks when it is rushed or forced. If you’ve tried to forgive but felt worse afterward, or if you feel guilty for not being “ready,” these feelings make complete sense.Forgiveness is not always the healing tool it is made out to be….
If you exhaust yourself trying to keep everyone happy and avoid conflict, you are not flawed.These patterns are survival strategies you developed as a child. People-pleasing (the art of anticipating the needs and moods of others to avoid conflict or rejection) begins as protection.When home feels unpredictable, a child learns to watch every mood, anticipate…
If you blamed yourself as a child for the abuse you experienced, please know that this was your mind’s way of trying to cope with an impossible situation. When children face trauma, their developing brains do whatever they can to make sense of chaos. Blaming yourself actually served a psychological purpose: it gave you the…
If you think self-compassion makes you weak, or believe you need to be tough on yourself to stay motivated, research shows the opposite is true. Self-compassion actually increases resilience – your ability to bounce back from adversity and face challenges with strength and determination. This challenges the harmful lesson many of us learned: that being…
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