Christmas is often described as a season of joy and togetherness, but if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, it can be one of the most stressful times of the year. When idealized images of a “perfect” Christmas collide with family tension or unresolved conflict, exhaustion often replaces joy. You may face loneliness if…
Family gatherings can be difficult if you grew up in a dysfunctional or toxic environment.Even when you want things to go well, these occasions can reopen old wounds and bring back familiar tensions. You may feel pressure to attend or to keep the peace, even when doing so costs your wellbeing. It helps to begin…
If you find yourself feeling an overwhelming urge to forgive people who have deeply hurt you, and you can’t understand why this pull is so strong, there’s a reason for this that has nothing to do with weakness or being “too forgiving.” The desire to forgive those who hurt us is instinctive, and it comes…
One of the most challenging aspects of healing from childhood trauma is coming to terms with a painful reality: our parents are unlikely to change and become the loving, supportive people we need them to be. You may find yourself trying to repair the relationship, hoping that this time will be different or believing you…
One of the most persistent myths about healing from childhood trauma is that forgiveness is essential for moving forward. This belief can actually be harmful to survivors. If you’ve felt pressure to forgive parents who hurt you, or been told that holding onto anger makes you “bitter” or “stuck,” know that this pressure is misguided….
One of the most challenging parts of healing from childhood trauma is dealing with external pressure to forgive those who hurt us. This pressure can come from many sources and can feel overwhelming. Family members might pressure you to forgive “for the sake of family unity” or because “that’s just how they are.” Friends might…
Processing grief from childhood trauma is one of the most challenging but important parts of healing. If you’re struggling with intense emotions after recognizing painful truths about your past, please know that what you’re experiencing is completely normal. Grief from childhood trauma doesn’t look like other types of grief. You might find yourself cycling through…
One of the most confusing aspects of healing from a difficult childhood is learning to grieve something that never actually existed – the loving, supportive parent–child relationship we deserved but never had. You might find yourself feeling deeply sad about the parent who couldn’t see you, support you, or love you the way you needed….
If you find yourself repeatedly drawn to romantic partners, friends, or even jobs that treat you the same way your parents did, you’re not alone. What you’re experiencing is one of the strangest psychological phenomena we encounter in healing from childhood abuse or distressing upbringing. It’s called “repetition compulsion.” Your mind plays this trick on…
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