If you’ve ever wondered why childhood experiences continue to affect you so deeply, or if you’ve been told to ‘just get over it’ and move on, this may help you understand.
As children facing difficult circumstances, we were in a position of complete powerlessness. This wasn’t a character flaw or weakness – it was the reality of being a child in an impossible situation.
We were completely dependent on whoever was causing our distress, not just for basics like food and shelter, but for the love and support necessary to grow and develop. We lacked knowledge and awareness because, trapped within our own family, we had no way of knowing how other families lived. Our experience was limited to what we knew. There were no mechanisms we could use to report what was happening, and the chances are we wouldn’t have been believed anyway.
Recognizing that we truly had no power to change our circumstances can bring up painful feelings. But understanding this helps us approach ourselves with compassion instead of criticism.
You weren’t weak or at fault. You were a child facing circumstances that no child should have to face. When we understand that we “lacked agency” as children, it becomes clear why healing requires patience with ourselves. We’re not broken – we adapted to survive.
This understanding can be the foundation for approaching your healing journey with the gentleness and compassion you deserve.
Continue your healing journey with Toxic by Jackie Poet a compassionate guide to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
